Brownies & Maple Bars

Life has thrown a new twist at me. I don't have a positive diagnosis, but I do have a blood test leading to my conclusion that I have celiac, yes I will eventually have the biopsy all of my family is bugging me to have but until then a positive reaction to my lack of gluten, is enough for me. I will keep you posted, if it is to the contrary I will post mounds recipes in a renewed salute to the joy and ease of wheat, if I am right, you can refer to my blog for various gluten free recipes in a salute to something else entirely.

I've watched for years as my father and sister have dealt with this disease and once you are eating the right thing it is completely manageable and pain free, if I must add yet another to my list of medical ailments I would choose this over MANY others! All I have to do is avoid gluten... although my passion for the sometimes floury substance is not as deep ceded as my husband's I am gradually realizing things I can no longer have and each day is getting a little harder -- oh, I can have them, I just have to make them from scratch and using strange expensive ingredients. I didn't realize how much emotion I had been holding in until I got to a friends blog (Meg, I will call her a friend even though we only met once because of how much emotional attachment her gluten free (gf) food blog now holds for me) She did this, not for herself but for the man she loves - certainly I can for myself? She had a gf brownie recipe, I love brownies. They are delectable and divine, I have spent years (5) finding the best brownie recipe only to be cut down once it's found, but I will prevail. I know my sister is a vast resource for my venture into gluten free - she has been doing it for 15 years now, but there was some block in my mind. Like if I called her it would all be true and she would console me, I do not want to be comforted, at this point I'm not sure if it's real and maybe a bit in denial - I don't have it for sure yet - this could all go away.

I am going to be me again. This will not stop me, it is only a speed bump. I feel like I am acting so silly over something so unimportant in the great plan of happiness, this makes me feel better, but I can't seem to stop myself from moping. All day long my mind is humming with activity - what else can't I eat? When is the next realization of a forgotten but much beloved treat going to hit? Maple bars, mmmmm, I loved maple bars but I would never voluntarily make them for fear of seeing what is actually in them... Ovaltine too, I don't know anything about it's claim on nutritional value but it does make a fabulous chocolate milk! Sorry for this post, it is against my better nature to post things relating to my serious side but it is quite a liberating experience, possibly I will delete it in a few hours and possibly not :)